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The Comparison Game – Get over your Inferiority Complex

Do you have an Inferiority Complex?

The comparison game is so wrong and it's another one of those self-created inferiority complex issues we have.  No one taught us to wish that we had more or were better.  These are expectations that we set on ourselves that just make us feel inferior.

I often feel like I should be farther along in life, or should have better fashion sense, or take better photos… I could seriously go on and my list would be a mile long.

The issue here is that I only feel insecure about these things because I allow myself to play the comparison game with others.  Moms I see in public with sweet, well-behaved little children, women on Instagram with perfectly cleaned homes, immaculate makeup and a newborn, or even just talking to my working mom friends about their climb up the workplace ladder.

Do you do this?  Of course, you do.  We all do it.

The thing is, there are so many reasons we shouldn’t be doing this at all.  The comparison game is so wrong and it’s another one of those self-created inferiority complex issues we have.  No one taught us to wish that we had more or were better.  These are expectations that we set on ourselves that just make us feel inferior.

Anxiety an Fear – Stop Giving Power to the “What if’s”

So let’s just stop already! I know, easier said then done right?

Stop Comparing Yourself to Someone Else Because:

You were made to be different

Seriously.  No matter what you believe in, you were made to be different.  If you look at this statement from a God perspective we were made to be unique.  We were made to have special talents to serve and lead people to Jesus.  Your skills and attributes were never meant to be exactly like someone else’s.  Your personality, likes, and dislikes are all unique to you.

If you look at us simply as biological beings, natural selection, survival of the fittest and reproduction, in general, have caused us to all be completely different.  Even twin have different DNA.  Not a single person has ever been created in the exact same way.

You were designed to be different.  So BE different.  Don’t wish your uniqueness away to try to be like someone else.  You were always intended to be you.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Someone Else Because:

You never know where someone else is in their journey

When I was trying to get pregnant with my 1st daughter it was much harder than I ever imagined it would be.  I am from a small southern town and basically grew up under the assumption that if a boy looked at you the wrong way you might get pregnant.

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When my husband and I decided to start trying to get pregnant I was shocked to get my period that first month.  Then it just kept happening month after month.  No baby.

We eventually saw a specialist, had lots of testing done, fertility treatments, medications, shots in the stomach, ultrasounds… Exhausting.  With all these appointments I would walk into the Dr’s office and see pregnant women or women with newborns.

I would see pregnancy announcements on Facebook and cry.  Why wasn’t this happening for me?  I stopped going to the mall at all because I always seemed to go when there was some sort of mommy and me program going on.

I always felt like such a failure because I didn’t have what these other women had.  I compared my ability to conceive a child with theirs and felt so inferior.

The truth is, I never accounted for where they were on their own journey.  Had they too experienced infertility?  Had they suffered miscarriages before having this child?  Was this child adopted?

You never know where someone else is in their journey.  You never know when something started, ended, or took a left turn.  You only see the end result.

Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s end.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Someone Else Because:

Social Media is deceiving

This. One. Gets. Me. All. Day. Long.  Just a little secret here, blogging is what I do, my job.  Part of blogging is making sure that people read what I write which means sharing myself on social media.  It is unavoidable.  Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter… all places where people share the best parts of themselves.

Let me say that again.  The BEST parts of themselves.

Sure I might post a funny mom moment story on Instagram about my daughter painting the floor in her playroom with poop.  Because it’s funny and relatable and it might inspire someone to hop over to my blog.

What I am not going to post is the meltdown I had with my 4-year-old today where I had to drag her from preschool because she didn’t want to leave.  Literally holding onto the door frame with one hand as I am pulling on the other.   With a crowd of teachers and parents watching.

Why am I not posting that?  Because it makes me look like a crappy mom, it was so embarrassing and I am mildly ashamed that my child thinks that kind of behavior is okay.

So when you see me laughing about all my kids’ antics, I’m only showing you a 15 second part of my life.  Not the rest of the day, week, month or year.

That perfectly clean living room in that other mom’s photo?  Yea, she probably just picked up in order to snap that shot!  Seriously none of us are perfect.  We just use social media to pretend like we are.

Have A Clean Home in an Hour Per Day

Stop Comparing Yourself to Someone Else Because:

You should be proud of the things you HAVE done up to this point

This kind of goes along with knowing where someone else is in their journey.  No matter where you are in your journey right now, you have come from somewhere.  You are further along then you were yesterday.

Maybe you are trying to lose 50 lbs but have only lost 5 so far.  Be proud of those 5lbs because it is 5lbs less than it was last week.

When I am afraid or feeling super anxious about something I pray.  I pray and I thank God for all the trials and tests that he has brought me through in the past.  When I am afraid that I won’t be able to juggle three kids and keep my sanity once the new baby gets here I remind myself that God walked with me through fertility treatments, the loss of a job, a cross-country move, my daughters’ cancer…

I didn’t fail at any of those things even when I thought that I might.

Tips for Sticking to your Goals

Look at your past, view your accomplishments and be proud of them!

When you compare yourself to others you are forgetting all these things that have brought you to this point in your life.  Maybe you got here through some rough seas and from here on out you will be able to use that knowledge and skills you learned during that season to help you in the next one.

If you are in a storm right now, think of it as teaching you how to be ready for whatever the future has in store for you.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Someone Else Because:

It’s just time to

My dear friend, It really is time to stop playing the comparison game.  You are worthy, unique and special.  You have a life experience that is yours and yours alone.  Do not base your worth or value on what you think others have achieved.  It may not be as glamorous as you might think.

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