Do you know that moment when you feel your mask slipping off? That carefully curated mask you forgot you were even wearing. The real you sneaks a quick peek and then you shove her right back behind the mask.
We forge these masks to protect ourselves, to fit in, to meet expectations, but we end up wearing them so long somehow it becomes who we are. We forget ourselves, our ideas, dreams, and passions, as we keep adding on to our mask, layer upon layer. And that mask is HEAVY.
Life was never meant to feel this heavy and overwhelming.
You should not be drudging around, exhausted, and yet feeling as if you’ve accomplished absolutely nothing. With only one single life you have been given you should be allowing yourself the freedom to really and truly enjoy it. Not this fake, Instagram enjoyment. I’m talking about five-year-old, Christmas morning kind of enjoyment. Every. Single. Day
I wish I could say I had some sort of light bulb moment and discovered this secret to happiness … but that would be far from the truth. The not so glamorous reality is my enlightenment has been a slow progression of questioning the status quo and rejecting anything I didn’t feel was applicable to my happiness. It was like being a toddler stuck in the “why?” phase.
When you strip back expectations and overwhelm life really can be simple and in that simplicity is joy. Real-life joy. Not the kind we’ve been told we will find when we do X or have Y or accomplish Z.
I invite you to toss X Y & Z out the window and join me in relearning the basics of simplicity. Start with developing a simple mindset. Learn to run a simple home, simplify your parenting, and simplify yourself.
Yes, the answer really is that simple.
Who is Zhade?
At face value, I’m a 30 something, married, stay-at-home mom to three girls, with two cats, and one Goldendoodle. We live in a comfortable little home, in a great school district, in a city with wonderful weather.
Crack the cover and I am so much more.
I grew up in rural North Carolina, in a town where social standing, money, and religion were power. My family had no social standing, no money, and no religion and I carried feelings of inadequacy until long after I left NC behind.
As a teenager I found Jesus but in the bible belt knowing God and practicing religion are two very different things. Churchs, their social structures, and man-made judgments drove me from an in-depth relationship with Him for a very long time.
I never noticed, until much later in life but almost every woman in my life was consumed with body image. Weight, skin and hair were important. When I say important, I mean these things defined you.
Even before we get into real-life stuff I’m already carrying enough expectations to drown an elephant.
And I was. Drowning in it.
But then I dealt with job loss, relocation, infertility, cancer, home destruction and eventually all that other crap just wasn’t so important any more.
These days I just focus on me, my girls, and my husband. I will not spend one more minute conforming myself to fit in anyone else’s mold. I will not raise my children to think that fitting in is the only way to live.
When I tell you nothing else is important besides you and your people I really and truly mean it. You have value just as you are. No changes, no outer layers, just you.