Possessions define who we are in society.
What we drive, where we live, what we wear, what our kids wear. We always want more. Upgrades, new styles, highest tech.
We plug ourselves into the rest of the world and unplug from our physical lives. We are filled to bursting with the need and desire for better and more.
I used to have a 5-year plan and a 10-year plan. Various hurdles appeared as they tend to do and upset my plans. Fertility troubles pushed my plans to start a family for three years, the loss of my husband’s job uprooted us 12 hours from our family and a cancer diagnosis of my 9-month-old wiped all my carefully planned plans out.
I discovered something in these trials that I didn’t realize before. We can say that people, not things, are the most important parts of our lives but we don’t really mean it until something tests us. If we really meant that we wouldn’t have this burning desire for more in our hearts. We want to be happy BUT we don’t know HOW to be happy.
This blog is here to help you, mama. To help you ditch the unhappiness that comes from wanting more and find true happiness with where you are. I lived it, I was that mom, that wife, that woman. Never satisfied with what I had or where I was in life. I was never truly happy.
How to be happy
I hate to harp on the fact that I am a cancer mom. That my daughter fought a monster when she was just an infant and won. But I need you to know where my dark places are. I need you to see that I’ve walked in that dark valley and climbed back up into the light. I need you to know that when I tell you life is so much better when you let the “things” go that I have legitimate authority in my words and actions.
Cancer changed me. I feel like I would be missing an opportunity to not make something beautiful out of the horror of that period of time if I just pretended it didn’t happen. Cancer taught me how to be happy. Really happy.
I don’t want you to waste all the time like I did. I wasted so much time before I realized what was truly important. Don’t chased things and ideas that aren’t even things you care about. Have you been there? Are you there now? Chasing a status or an image because you feel pressured to?
Let it go.
Nice things are great. A new outfit is fun. Bigger house for your growing family is a blessing. It’s when you start to desire these things in a way that affects your behaviors and mood that is the problem.
Irma was the biggest storm to ever come out of the Atlantic EVER. At the moment that I am writing this, I am sitting in the dark of my parent’s kitchen, listening to her roar and pound at the windows. We’ve been anxiously watching the news all day and I know that the eye, the most dangerous part is getting ready to pass right over us.
I left my home two days ago, knowing that when I came back it probably would not look the same. It might not even be there. Even now, I have no idea what is going on with all my worldly possessions. We left with a few changes of clothes, our computers, passports and birth certificates. I locked my door and knew in my heart that even if we lost everything it would be okay.
I let it go.
Do you know how satisfying it is to feel so free of attachment to things? It’s indescribable. There are heirlooms, furniture that has been passed through generations, footprint art from my kids, my wedding dress….. There are things of actual value, both monetary and sentimental. But I have a free heart. If I return to a blank space where my home used to be, it will be just fine.
Update: Irma dropped a 100 foot oak tree through our bedroom. It fell right into our bed, where the four of us would have been sleeping if we hadn’t been at my parents house. It took several weeks to get the tree off our house and then we went through an almost total house and contents renovation due to mold concerns. We got rid of almost all of our things. And you know what. It was okay. We all survived and all the things we lost were easily replaced.
Take a good look at your life. A GOOD look. When you toss out the world’s expectations of what your life should look like what is left? What is left that deep down brings you ultimate joy?
“In a generation of people who want to be heartless, savages and empty of feelings, it’ll be hard to find someone who is what you need, but do not become like the world.
Be loyal, be truthful, be emotional, be full of feelings, be hungry for love, be thirsty for affection and anything else human beings ought to desire.
Let them be foolish and cold. Don’t dim your light to become as dark as they are.”
Her by Pierre Jeanty
What things do you need to give up? What things are keeping you from being happy?
Are you looking for ways to let go of your possessions? Check out these posts on physical decluttering!.